Porn on XXXanga

 Honestly, I'm going to have to write a double feature. I just put up my last article on Fishing for Compliments, I click over to Libertyville High School and see two unusual users with some unusual little synopsis of themselves. Wow, I didn't know our school hosted 18 year old porn queens. That's odd.

  Come on. Honestly. I'm not really putting the blame on anyone individually from Libertyville or whatever in charge of how this little thing works. Its funny isnt it. You'd never expect these 18 year old flesh baring darlings to also have a double major in Applied Technology and Computer Programming. Impressive. I mean, they're beating the system somehow. All so men around the world can take advantage of them.
  While we're on the subject. Forgive me, and I only wonder out of pure curiosity, but, how much could these people get paid. I'm almost positive that any regular job, even fastfood would pay better than a crappy xanga hosted porn site. Sigh. What a waste.
   What was once a wonderful outlet to see what mundane suburban teenagers suffer through everyday at school is now plagued with cyber sex. I don't even really know what to say. I'll have to reload and strike back later.

That was a lot of Stickin it 2 The Man in a short period of time. Do me a favor and tell me if you read these. I've gotten a couple of requests to start it up again. I'll probably keep writing for my own satisfaction. And no, I'm not fishing for compliments. Cheers and enjoy.

Alright, I've got some time to kill, let's try and get this thing kickin' again.

Fishin' for Compliments
   Personally, there is nothing more wonderfully obnoxious than engaging into conversation with someone who is so blatantly dropping bombs on how wonderful they are, just waiting for you to bow down and grovel in front of them. It's understandable, say, when you rock out a record shattering score in Ztris to ask for a little gratitude from the lesser peons who can hardly get past level nine, but when you start dropping overtly subtle hints about, say, how awesome you did on a test you never studied for, that is about the time that I purposely start trying to make you feel like an idiot. You'll know it's coming, because(using the test example), they'll always ask you what you got on your test first, testing the water to see if they can bait you properly. This is the first red flag. I usually start by making something up. You can either hedge your bets and pretend like you kicked their ass and say something like 96% or shoot to make them feel like an ass for bragging by going with a 53% or something as low. They'll then proceed to give you the low down on how late they were up the night before, usually stringing together a series of superhuman events that had to struggle through to make their 90% feel that much better. "Oh God, I was up until three in the morning, I didn't even have time to study. My dad came home drunk and beat me with his stub of an arm since he had lost the whole thing in a bar fight. Then my mom proceeded to stab me in the jugular with a steak knife because my little brother contracted cancer and then hell broke loose and a fifteen armed demon took a phosphoric dump on my backpack incinerating any chance I had at an A. But, damn... I don't know how I did it..."  This is where you offer a nice little awkward silence to let the fact that they are being grade-A bag of duesch settle in, and offer a simple one liner to under-cut their momentum, "Is your dad alright?"
   
  I mean, sure, it's nice to be nice when someone does something awesome. But, odds are, you know right away when someone is fishing for compliments. The worse offender is the dreaded Unconfident Badass, an oxymoron in itself. You know these people quite well. They pretend to be raging weekend warriors. They come up to you at 7:30 in the morning when all you really want to do is sleep, sit on your desk, and regale you with unconfident tales of how "fucked up" they were this last weekend. Their only skill is their amazing ability to draw an endless number of synonyms to the terminology of "fucked up." This only lends to their ability to tell as many people as possible, just hoping for signs of acceptance, that someone will actually care that they "downed four kegs while on X, all while bare naked, at a party with (here's the kicker to any false confident bamf story) a bunch of college kids." College kids? You're kidding. Damn. You are a badass.
   Don't fall into the assumption that these Unconfident Badasses are limited to substance abuse (i.e. "blazed" "thrashed" "wasted" "shit-faced" "gone" "toasted" "roasted" (here they just rattle off different ways to make chicken)) They may also try and tell you how they "ran from the cops", which basically just means that they are probably one of those really free-minded emo kids who put "Support local Anarchy" stickers on stop signs, and they swear that a cop saw them so they take off running in the sweet lace up old school Converse kicks. Or maybe they walked through the drive-through at Burger King. While telling you these stories, they look for your lower jaw to slowly drop and for your eyes to grow wide-eyed in wonder. Don't worry, you won't have to fight it too hard, these characters are too inept at regaling you with much of a story, you'll most likely be distracted by your own heart beating to care much about their false tails of sin and vice.
  
   I don't quite understand the phenomena. Do they get some sort of rush from being told how awesome they are over and over again? Here's a little tip for anyone who does fish for those compliments. Choose your audience a little bit more wisely. For example, if you snorted coke equivalent to the amount of flower needed to make a four-tier wedding cake, don't tell me. I don't really know what that would do, or how awesome that would be, or have much respect for you, because, honestly, I'm not planning on coking up anytime soon. Or, say, if you accomplished something over a bunch of other people, some being my friends, don't start telling me how awesome you are, cuz, I happen to think my friends are pretty awesome too, so don't expect me to bend over and grab the soap because you're prince of the prison now.
  
   Well, that's about it. Let me just say, if you did something awesome, like decipher the actual 23 flavors in Dr. Pepper, fire away, I will applaud you. Just don't insinuate.. and insinuate.. and insinuate... Beacuse then i'll just slap you in the face, beacuse fishing for compliments is like fishing for Mermen; you usually won't catch any because they're too smart, and if you do, you're really gay. Beacuse you just caught a Merman.

Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing the new short film:

Robots and Pizza
(inspired by Maximillian Spacone)

I wanted to save this somewhere and Word takes too long. Good songs if you're interested.

Wolfmother - Woman or Joker and The Thief or Mind's Eye
Ok Go - Get Over It, Invincivle, What to Do
Wilco - Misunderstood, Hummingbird, Outtasite(outta mind)
Built to Spill - Carry the Zero, You Were Right, Car
Radiohead - Karma Police, Black Star, The Bends
Dream Theater - Take the Time, Home, Overture 1928/Strange Deja Vu
The Shins - Caring is Creepy, A Call to Apathy, We Will Become Silhouettes
The Raconteurs - Steady As She Goes, Together, Level
and to put you to sleep, Iron and Wine - Such Great Heights

And here's something witty and funny: My mom won something from Oprah. A 350 dollar digital camera. I now have to cancel my KKK subscription...... (kidding.)     (sorta)    .... (they wouldn't let me in. I'm a half-breed)

Wow. The Man has been getting off way too easy, but see, I figured it was summer so, I'd let it slide a little. Summer has a wonderful way of f'ing The Man in the A, so hopefully no one suffered too much justice, though it is indeed inevitable.

First things first. My schedule, I will go ahead and post it. Actually I dont really want to type it all out so.  Forget that. I'm not my computers bitch.  .... Yes, yes, I am. Shit. But that doesnt mean I'm going to give in.

Unfortunately with the summer coming to a close oh too soon, I figure it's apt time to give a Summer Stickin it 2 The Man recap. Seeing as when school comes along this little thingy will be in full swing again, seeing as I need to find a legitimate way to procrastinate from reading my AP Lit stuff.

1. The Tommy "I'd rather be licking Anna Nicole's old Fat Ass" Barlett Water Show
     - Probably the ultimate travesty in Wisconsin Dells entertainment. Famed for being around for... 51 years. 51 years and the most excitement you can give me is watching a four year old shake his nonexistant behind while I contemplate the quasi-carny lifestyle he will grow up into?! There were maybe two cool water ski jumps and to my extreme disappointment, when viewed up close at the end of the show, none of the girls were hot and all the dudes were just, weird looking. Gay. Really Gay.
2. Drinking Tickets
    - I'm sorry but 400 some dollars for a first offense?! For an 18 year old, that's beyond harsh. Way too many people got nailed this summer, and I extend my deepest condolences. Molotov cocktails would be great retribution. Ironic and colorful. Just kidding, don't arrest me cops who patrol these things.
3. Teddy Adamzcyk
   - Allow me to introudce the world to Teddy Adamzcyk. Outside hitter for Adversity and Maine South. Usually I don't take things too personal and leave me stuff on the court. But if there was a biggest Deusch Bag In the Existence of Time award, it would go this cocky bastard. Riding my ass about him winning state? Why, it's not like we played them anywhere in playoffs. Hey, flamer (he's also a red head), go suck one. Your first name is Teddy. Try and be intimidating. Please.
4. Funerals
   - All I wanted was to shoot part of my movie in a funeral home. I wasn't trying to recreate a whole procession/wake/funeral service. All I wanted was a brief couple minutes of a funeral house exterior/interior. Of course, on the day of that scene, both funeral homes in Libertyville are having some sort of service. Way to make me feel like a complete asshole. I swear, I'm not trying to profit off the death's of others, but who would have thought that on a given day two people had died and needed the places. No one dies in Libertyville. It's a town of superheroes, as the name suggests, but that's another deal in itself...
 
  Alright, I'm kinda running out of things. Summer was pretty good to me. Well, had some rough in the beginning but than it rocked out. Finished Innocence Faded , my movie, which is awesome. And ten times. No a thousand times, better than that drivel I made last year. So yeah. Check it out, contact me if you want a copy. Alright, well there's far more injustice during the school year, so, go figure. Stick it 2 The Man. Mhm. Dat's right. (I need a black man's voice to narrate everything I write)